Free TVs, people!

I take it that everyone else here has been to an Oprah show in person?  You haven't?  Seriously?

[Keels over in shock.]

Well, if you cannot get to Oprah's show, she'll bring the show to you. At least, I think that's what happened in Virginia over the weekend. No, not everyone got a free car, it was something way better.  As some cerebral comedian once remarked, there are three stages in your life:
  1. You are born.
  2. You watch TV.
  3. You die.
We can all agree that birth and death are not memorable, given that no one here remembers what it was to be born, and will not know what it'll be to be dead. But that middle part—that is what we all live for. Face it, without TV, you'd not even see Oprah handing out cars.

Besides, no one wants a car anymore, right?  Those damn things guzzle gas, and the most they do is take you places. A TV on the other hand, while too heavy for just one hand, is a necessity. You can watch it, you can yell at people that appear on it, and if you are an intemperate temperamental tortured genius, you can even express incontinent rage by hurling your remote at the screen.

[I just watch tennis on it and porn that other thing that downloads itself. In your own words, express what you do with a TV.  I am sure someone else is interested.]

"So what happened this weekend in Virginia, SK?" you ask indignantly.

I am getting to it.  One of the movie roles of ancient people that I wanted to see was Frank Sinatra acting in and as Frank Sinatra. For those of you who cannot relate, imagine Ben Affleck in a movie, acting as Ben Affleck himself. Still confused? Well, recall that Seinfeld episode about Kramer selling his life stories to J. Peterman and starting a bus tour.

No, none of this has anything to do with what happened this weekend in Virginia.

"So what the @%^&# DID happen this weekend in Virginia, SK?" you ask indignantly, in unison.

Turns out that someone decided that people really love TVs.  So they went door to door in a community, in the thick of the night (is there a width measurement no one told me about? Something to do with the metric system?  Dewey Decimal System maybe?) and left an old TV on each doorstep.

The punchline?  They did it while wearing a TV.  It is not Oprah-esque, but then nothing is.  Still, a free TV provided by a dude wearing a TV.  How cool is that?

Now, if there were any justice in this world, there would be someone wearing an iPad Pro and leaving a spanking new iPad Pro (Space Grey edition) on my porch.

If I had a porch.

But enough about me, what do all y'all think of this old TV gifting in the thick of the night?  As my main gal Ashley pondered:


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